At the Dinner Table
by Prospero Hibiki
Summary: I just wish I had the excuse of being drunk when I wrote this. Expect humor, romance, and fifty percent chance of dead mimes if you're lucky.


At the Dinner Table A Ranma ½ Fanfiction By Prospero Hibiki hell_frost@hotmail.com  
  
Disclaimer:  
Were I anything but a poor college student I would ... well I don't know what would happen since I doubt that this situation will change in the foreseeable future except if I fail out of said college. As it is I'm not making any money off of these characters and any character that you don't recognize from Takahashi Rumiko's Ranma ½ series is mine. And the truly sad thing is I'm not even making money off of them.  
  
***  
  
I hear a door slam inside the house and for once it pulls my attention away from the dinner table. Not far away, mind you, but still far enough. Looking up I can see all of the usual occupants of the dojo sitting down and eating. Even Ryoga and Happosai are here which makes it unlikely that they slammed a door upstairs, though not impossible especially in Ryoga's case. What's really strange though is that no one else seems to have noticed. I take a deep breath and the smell of the food is sweet in my nostrils. Usually my attention is practically riveted to the table and the food placed upon it, so for me to notice before anyone else, like say Nabiki for example, is an interesting feat. Obviously this is the work of some foul sorcerer. Several foul sorcerers come to mind but none more readily than that of the face of my mortal enemy Tatewaki Kuno. I look back down at my plate for a moment to discover that a large percentage of my food is gone. I blink for a moment and stare at it again. I just lost another piece of pickled pepper. Someone purposefully picked a piece of pickled pepper from my plate. They must be punished. "For I am the Purple Pickled Pepper Eater of Furinkan High!"  
  
Nabiki is staring at me right now and I can't figure out why. Or rather I can I just don't know why I've given her a reason to do so. I honestly can't come up with any good explanation for the kendo garb and the wooden bokken that I've suddenly thrust into the air for that matter. I'll just file these things away for future reference physically and mentally, especially since only Nabiki seems to be taking any notice of me at all. I can't decide if this is a good thing or a bad thing though.  
  
Sitting down once more I pick up my chopsticks and switch my plate with my old man's since his is still full. He's probably the one who took my food anyway. That'll teach him to steal from me. I shake my head and a vague feeling of cloudiness passes. It was so vague that I didn't even notice it was there until it was gone. This time when there's a loud creaking directly above me my hands absently defend my plate while I devote the majority of my attention to the ceiling. It could just be my imagination, but it seems that the ceiling is warping underneath some great weight. And not just a little bit either. When Kasumi stands to get some more food from the kitchen she absently ducks under the bend and keeps going without a comment. She doesn't say anything about it. But then I doubt she would. This is the same girl who kindly tied herself up for the last kidnapper when he didn't have the heart to do it himself. Still though, you'd think someone else would notice that the ceiling has suddenly gone from seven feet to three and a half. Even if it was just to blame me for it.  
  
Nabiki's started to notice which is the only thing keeping me from running off gibbering like a madman. She looks like she's about to do the same which oddly enough restores my faith in my sanity and lowers my faith in that of the others. Reaching up I calmly grab a hold of the ceiling above me noting it's rather spongy texture and push it firmly back into place in its proper position. Setting my chopsticks down I announce to everyone that I'm finished and shrug when I don't get a response beyond a muffled grunt from my father. Standing I grab Nabiki by the shoulder as she starts to open her mouth and shake my head. She too announces that she's done and follows me out to the yard where I stop by the koi pond.  
  
"Before you ask, Nabiki, I have no clue what's going on." The vague cloudy feeling has left again which is my only indication that it had returned at some point. "But I think I just figured one out."  
  
I think Nabiki's figured out the same thing I have because she's shaking her head as if trying to regain her balance from a dizzy spell. "We were drugged somehow." Her response meshes with what I'd figured pretty well so I nod.  
  
"Did you see the ceiling start to sag, too?" At her shake negative I get curious. "What tipped you off then?"  
  
She chuckles and I'm reminded how much prettier she looks than Akane, a thought which I bury as far in my mind as I possibly can the second it surfaces. "I kind of figured it out when I imagined that you had jumped up in your seat and shouted something about being a purple pickle eater."  
  
I grimace and quickly cover it up by laughing and putting my hand behind my head hoping she doesn't figure out that actually happened. By the expression on her face she has and I groan. "Please tell me there was something else that clued you in."  
  
She nods and I sigh in relief. "The fish swimming around the dinner table was another indication." Nabiki is starting to look really scared now. "Damnit Ranma! What's going on? Who's doing this to us?" I'm getting scared now since this is the first time I've really seen Nabiki about to break down. Obviously she can't handle attacks upon herself as well as I can. Moving over to her I wrap my arms around her like I've wanted to do many times before and am surprised when she does the same to me. I quickly bury unearthed thoughts once more.  
  
"I don't know, Nabiki. But rest assured that when I find out these people are going to pay." I grin slightly. "With interest compounded daily and no refinancing." I can feel her start to giggle into my shirt at the bad joke. Looking up at the house I stiffen when I see a shape pass in front of the window in Nabiki's room, the sound's I'd been hearing inside coming back to me rather suddenly. "Nabiki I want you to go get Ucchan from her store. She's the only one that I know of that hasn't tried to drug us at some point. I'm going to stay here and deal with the person that's inside the house."  
  
Releasing her I take a step towards the house only to get stopped by Nabiki's hand on mine. Looking at her I'm puzzled when she presses a handkerchief into my hand. Seeing this she turns and quickly dunks it in the pond and presses it over my nose and mouth. "I think it's in the air. Like incense. This should stop it some if I'm right." She turns to leave and this time I'm the one that stops her.  
  
Giving her hand a quick tug I pull her back into my arms and kiss her passionately. I wonder briefly if whatever is in the house is still affecting the two of us in ways that are just different than the others. I can't ever see myself doing this without spending a lot of time working up the nerve to do so. All of these thoughts flow through my mind in the brief second that it takes my lips to reach hers, because after that my brain implodes and my soul leaves my body. I come to looking into Nabiki's eyes, which have widened in obvious surprise. I turn away suddenly disgusted with what I'd done, not the act itself because I believe I'll cherish that memory forever, but rather at forcing myself upon her.  
  
Remembering to place the damp cloth over my nose and mouth I step into the house once more to kick the ever-loving shit out of whoever has caused me to betray myself. Yes, whoever has done this to the Tendo household is about to receive a beating like one they've never experience before. Ranma Saotome is pissed and someone is going to pay. Someone is definitely going to pay. 


End file.
